In the world of pop-punk scene teen bands, there are only a few rules to follow, so listen up. First off, every boy in the band must be cute AND/OR the front man must be UNBELIEVABLY “hot”. Secondly, they all must wear tight skinny jeans, possibly to showcase their...bananas (ATL promos. ‘nuff said!). Lastly, they must produce a song catchy enough to annoy you to tears, thus creating it impossible to go anywhere without humming repeating, redundant lyrics (I'm burnin' up, burnin' up...for you bay'bay). This is sadly the criterion if a band wants to make bank these days. Sounds like a perfect band, but what’s the catch? They don’t have ANY creditability with anyone other than 12-15 year old girls. I thought only Disney Channel stars pulled things like that, but I was wrong 2 years ago when I heard “Dear, Maria” by All Time Low. So, when I heard they were releasing another album, I was shocked, until I saw their video late one night on MTV.

Their new album is entitled “Nothing Personal”, but they clearly have taken personal and made it honest. Their first track “Weightless” sure hit me in my judgmental face. Why have I not wanted to listen to All Time Low before? They seemed like sell outs, guys who were too obsessed with their skank fan teen scene queens, and maybe they still are, but their video for “Weightless” starts off poking fun at just that fact: All Time Low attracts chicks who are “obsessed band sluts” (HEY, I didn’t say it first!). It seems like ATL is learning how to poke fun at themselves. After all, any band can throw down the F bomb in a song, but when it’s full of honest “nothing personal” comments, what have we gotten into?

The next track is “Break Your Little Heart”. If ATL is all about the motto, “Nothing Personal”, this song certainly makes them look like douche bags…errr… I mean, tools. “I’m gunna break your little heart/watch you take the fall/laughing all the way to the hospital/Cause there’s nothing surgery can do/When I break your little heart in two.” Alright, so we get that they want to be honest with people, but come on, guys, break my heart? ‘BUT you’re, like, soooo incredibly good looking!’ (Gag me.) Other punchy songs on the album are “Stella”, “Sick Little Games”, and “Hello Brooklyn”.

The best song by FAR on this album is “Damned If I Do YA (Damned If I Don’t)”. If you want to get punched by lyrics, well, puff out your chest and scoot a little closer. This song is the perfect summer getaway song. So, pack up your beach stuff, get 2 friends, and drive. Alright, well, maybe not right now, but soon, because those “Oh-Oh-Oh”’s in the song aren’t gunna wait for anyone. It doesn’t really matter if you know all the words to the song or not, once the “oh-oh-oh” part or “damned if I do ya…” play, you can’t help but press the gas. And don’t worry, it’s alright if you have to play the song a few times to get the “oh-oh-oh”’s out of your system.

“Walls” is pretty relatable to anyone who has tried to break down the barrier between relationship. Sure, these guys are lyrical, but is it really “oh oh oh so cool” to use the word “horny” and drop a cuss word or two? To me, this song is two parts, the first part is where they take off their douche bag masks and be serious. The other part of the song is them putting those masks back on and being comedic in the “honesty”.

“Too Much”, “Keep the Change, You Filthy Animal”, and “A Party Song” are just songs that appear on the album. I liked the lyrics in each song, but it seemed like there’s something missing. (And it wasn’t the lack of “oh-oh-oh”… there’s plenty to go around on this album.) “Too much of anything can be too much.” (Well, duh!) The last track “Therapy” sent me off the edge and launched this album on repeat. I enjoyed the ACTUAL slower song with HONEST lyrics, but I got so distracted during the song by everything else going on, I couldn’t focus. When I see this song, I see trees going by, the world passing by… colors become blurred… AND NO, I’m not on drugs. “Therapy” just seems like the type of song that plays when you’re in a car, stuck, staring at the world wanting to live. What do you actual have to live for to be a part of life?

Honestly, (and nothing personal, guys) but the first half of the album was good. If you’re gunna play like a “tool”, play the whole album like a tool. The last half of the album seemed like All Time Low pretended to have feelings, but turned each song into a gateway to swear or distract me from the point. Trust me, trying to add “oh-oh-oh” in every track is not the answer. However, I did enjoy that the whole aroma of the album “smelt” like summer, making me INCREDIBLY jealous of anyone with a convertible car and a beach nearby. Then again, pop-punk teen scene bands make you feel so alive, because that’s what summer does to you. Summer makes people feel alive, and honestly, maybe I won’t judge a band on their bananas. All Time Low, good work, but stop being tools.