Let me break the silence: "LEAVE CHRISTOFER ALONE."
As I sit here on the floor of my dining room, pork chops on a fork in my left hand and watermelon in my right hand, packing tape all in my business, I am here to rant, breaking the silence that has engulfed me this summer. I've been spending my summer working, packing, and trolling (which if you don't know what that means, please click here) on tumblr. Oh, and finding time to catch up on shows I never get to watch during the school year. Well, as I've been trolling, I keep stumbling upon these posts bashing my beloved Christofer Drew (yeah, that's a joke.) Let me fill you in on this nonsense.
See, Christofer, also known as Nevershoutnever, started woo'ing these baby scene kids with his charming good looks at the age of 16, seen in the photo to the left. He got mad tattoos, showed kids how cool you can be if you drop out of school, and sang crappy, cheezy-sleezey lyrics that captivate mislead hipsters. He put on those glasses that are too big for his face. He straightened his hair. He even started remotely looking like a "lost boy" from Peter Pan.
Then, something happened. Christofer Drew left Never-Never Land... and no, I don't mean that he stopped being in Nevershoutnever. I mean, HE GREW UP, as seen in the photo to the right. He started to fill out. He cut his hair. He turned... gasp... 19! Fans all around the WORLD (no lie) are in such exasperation at the site of him at Warped Tour. GASP! CHRISTOFER ISN'T THE SAME SKINNY CRACK-SKINNY KID! WHAT WILL WE FANTASIZE ABOUT NOW!?
With that said, I say, in a non-sarcastic but a wee-bit cynical way, "LEAVE CHRISTOFER ALONE!" If you don't want to listen to his music because he is an awful musician (duh!), then FINE. But if you stop listening to him because "HE GOT FAT", what does that say about you, oh "so-scene" hipster? You are as shallow as the music you listen to! YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD. So, take off your "TWLOHA" shirts, huge 80's glasses, and cut-off shorts, and look at yourself in the mirror. WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE PERCEIVED AS? Because, really, after reading these pointless blogs, you sound just like Jessi Slaughter. YOU DUN GOOF'D!
See, Christofer, also known as Nevershoutnever, started woo'ing these baby scene kids with his charming good looks at the age of 16, seen in the photo to the left. He got mad tattoos, showed kids how cool you can be if you drop out of school, and sang crappy, cheezy-sleezey lyrics that captivate mislead hipsters. He put on those glasses that are too big for his face. He straightened his hair. He even started remotely looking like a "lost boy" from Peter Pan.
Then, something happened. Christofer Drew left Never-Never Land... and no, I don't mean that he stopped being in Nevershoutnever. I mean, HE GREW UP, as seen in the photo to the right. He started to fill out. He cut his hair. He turned... gasp... 19! Fans all around the WORLD (no lie) are in such exasperation at the site of him at Warped Tour. GASP! CHRISTOFER ISN'T THE SAME SKINNY CRACK-SKINNY KID! WHAT WILL WE FANTASIZE ABOUT NOW!?
With that said, I say, in a non-sarcastic but a wee-bit cynical way, "LEAVE CHRISTOFER ALONE!" If you don't want to listen to his music because he is an awful musician (duh!), then FINE. But if you stop listening to him because "HE GOT FAT", what does that say about you, oh "so-scene" hipster? You are as shallow as the music you listen to! YOU ARE WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE WORLD. So, take off your "TWLOHA" shirts, huge 80's glasses, and cut-off shorts, and look at yourself in the mirror. WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE PERCEIVED AS? Because, really, after reading these pointless blogs, you sound just like Jessi Slaughter. YOU DUN GOOF'D!
Posted by: Colleen Gilfoy
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